You Can't Create Success Playing The Blame Game And Not Taking Responsibility For Your Life

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There are certain things in our lives and that happen to us throughout our lives that mold us to the person we become. Of all of these things there are two which play the biggest role in molding us...

1. Our parents and upbringing, and
2. The people we associate with.

These two things will do more for determining what type of person you become as an adult than most anything else.

Mr. C was like a lot of people and was raised in your typical American family (typical to the area where he lived). He had amazing parents who were your typical parents and was raised in a typical American family.

Growing up Mr. C allowed fears in his life which held him back from doing things he really wanted to do and didn't learn how to overcome these fears because his parents didn't know how to teach him how to overcome them; and who developed disempowering beliefs which caused him to doubt himself on many things in his life. 

My friend, we all have a history and very few of us had success driven parents to teach us how to deal with things in life that we faced. There was very few to teach us how to use our God given gifts and how to deal with things that molded us to who we became as an adult, some good and some not so good. (The good news is you can reprogram yourself.)

To make things worse (or better), the #1 thing which influences us the most is the people we hang around with. Too many people hang around with negative Nellies who bitch, piss and moan about everything and blame everyone else for their lives and their problems. They refuse to take any responsibility for their life or the circumstances of their life. Instead, they play the blame game and blame others or circumstances created by others for all of their problems.

Mr. C would tell me, "It only takes one excuse to fail in life. You don't need a bunch, you only need just one. Stop looking for excuses and start looking for solutions. It's a completely different frame of mind. By focusing on solutions it'll move you towards success versus always having excuses which moves you toward failure. It's your life, it's your choice."

It's a proven fact that we are who we associate with...

• If you hang around negative Nellies you'll become a negative Nellie,
• If you hang around smokers you'll start smoking,
• If you hang around people who drink or do drugs you'll start drinking or doing drugs,
• If you hang around people who play the blame game you'll play the victim and blame others too.

This isn't 100% true or true for 100% of the people, but it's true most will be influenced. (Like Mr. C says, there are always exceptions to every rule.) 

We all want to fit in so we take on the core characteristics of the people we hang around with. We want to align with people, not take opposing views which would make us stand out from our peers where they'd alienate us. This is why we will take on the values and beliefs of the peer group we hang with over the values and beliefs our parents may have taught us.

Plus, we mimic the people we look up to and admire in our sphere of influence. We adapt their likes and dislikes, beliefs and values.

In other words, you're rewiring your brain to be like others you're associating with and to take on their beliefs, values and habits. It's human nature!

On the other hand, if you socialize with a group of positive, success driven people through high school who believe anything is possible and talk about how they're going to pursue their dreams once they get out of school, you'll take on the same beliefs and be that much further in life once you get out on your own.

You can see the significant role your friends and peer groups play in our lives. Like Mr. C also says, "You are who you associate with."

Listen very carefully... successful people NEVER blame others for their circumstances because they know they alone control their lives and what they get out of life. That's because successful people also know that the key to change and making the changes in their life to create the life they want starts with taking total responsibility for their actions and the decisions they make.

When you blame others it leaves no room for personal change and growth because "it's the other guys fault," whoever the other guy is. Instead, by blaming others, you believe it's up to other things to change for your life to be better putting your happiness and success into the hands of others.

Successful don't believe or allow other people or circumstances to control their life.

• If taxes are increased they get smarter on tax deductions
• If things don't go right they look at what their part in it was and then change what they're doing to create a different result. (Can't change other people or what they do, but you can change what you do or how you look at something which will change the outcome.)

In addition to having an extensive background in business development, marketing, copywriting and business optimization, Mr. C has also spent the past 37 years, since he was 22, studying personal development.

How Mr. C explains personal development is, "it's using what God gave us to take control over our lives by turning disempowering beliefs into empowering beliefs, removing values that hold us back and building empowering values, taking control over our thoughts, overcome fears and creating your best you."

Personal development is all about creating your best you... success driven, best spouse, best parent, etc.

Studying personal development and applying what he learned is how he quit drinking and how he completely turned his life around. It was the beginning and the foundation to his many successes! He's a firm believer in studying personal development. 

Nothing is gained blaming others. You can't grow or get past the problem because you're blaming others and relying on them to change in order to resolve the problem. Successful people recognize you can't expect others to change because you have no control over others.

Instead successful people look at what their part in the problem is and fix their part.

Sometimes the problem is in how they look at the problem. Once they change how they look at it they realize it's not a problem at all. Or if it continues to be a problem, they focus on the solution to overcome the problem or get around the problem.

Whatever it ends up being, successful and success driven people don't get hung up on obstacles or problems because they know how to work through them, and they don't allow negativity into their world knowing there's more than one way to look at things.

Life is a journey. What kind of life do you want? One filled with negativity and misery or one filled with great memories and great accomplishments along the way?

Whatever it is, it's your decision and is fully in your hands to create. You control your life and your future!

Let me leave you with this. Mr. C would say the ultimate success formula is...

• What you focus on
• What you believe
• The decisions you make
• The actions you take